prolly gonna ruin it later bc I started thinking about growing old and dying (Suicide isnt scary, murder isnt scary, rape isnt scary, heart attacks arent scary, strokes arent scary, everything else is {including natural death})
new user and profile!!! I made my user my two preffered names, I havent really settled on one. I've been Teddy/my real name for a while but I think I might be Clover idek anymore
I really wanna cut so bad. I have like 5 blades now that are super sharp because their from brand new sharpeners but I havent used them yet. I time when I do it with when my cats claws get really long so I make small cuts in different places on my thighs and dig into them a bit.
my mom keeps stressing me out over school, which is only making my grades go DOWN
and I have so much missing work
my stupid fucking heart can't keep to itself, no matter how many times I want it to. I keep finding myself liking people (two) and then I get my heart absolutely shattered.
My mom doesn't know about me being homoflex, or nonbinary, or using she/they so I'm struggling not to correct her whrn she's talking about me.
My stupid fucking dad is being a petty bitch over court shit
I literally want to kms or sh but I have nothing to sh w so I almost gouged ny eyes out with my fingers last night my friend literally had to make sure I was still alive, checking on me every hour
I might've killed my cat cuz I forgot she was being fixed today and two of them (the bug backs) were biting my ankles because they wanted food so I gave them food
I'm so insanely touch starved that I would do anything atp (w money involved) that I can somehow lessen the starvation
My friend told a teacher I was selfharming and then he pulled me aside and asked me to show my arms so I showed him my arm that I don't rlly do anything on and then he said the other one and when I would only show him the top and he just nodded I started sobbing and then he took me into the teacher work room in the office and then he got Miss D (I do NOT know what she does broski) and she was talking to me as I was honestly having a panic attack and then I went to guidance and I got to speak to the school psychologist and my guidance counselor and then now I get to go to therapy and any time I need to talk I have permission to go to the guidance office and if the seventh grade counselor isn't there the eighth one told me she would talk to me (she was in the room for a little bit bc my grade counselor was with someone)
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I have a solo.to for my therian acc (and all related) if anyone wants to see. click here 👇 start of link https://solo.to/clov3rxx end of link
also I js found out I have NO classes w my friends so thats great
guys I didnt jump him
im gonna jump his ass when hes hanging out w his friends at the park on Sunday
im so silly
I got cheated on lmaoo
I started journaling, so this will be used less lmaoo
My boyfriend snuck out of his window to walk 10 minutes (same neighborhood) to come see me.
is somebody gonna match my freak (sitting on call w my boyfriend in silence aside from the occasional conversation) (I prefer texting)
almost 24 hrs clean 💕💕
prolly gonna ruin it later bc I started thinking about growing old and dying (Suicide isnt scary, murder isnt scary, rape isnt scary, heart attacks arent scary, strokes arent scary, everything else is {including natural death})
(please remember that those are my opinions)
i broke up with my girlfriend, I just dont love her like that anymore, but I still love her.
her friend was a total asshole. like, I know shes hurting, im hurting too
zero days clean lmaoo
Im so bored. I think of life like a game, and it becomes boring when I've been stuck on the same part of this level for the past few days.
Okay, yeah getting a bf was a change
but it doesnt help when I cant see him.
we go to the waterpark tmrw but idek if I want too.
she got it back cuz she was scared I was gonna commit suicide and told her mom
so her mom knows im suicidal 😻
welp
my bsf got her phone taken forever
gonna cut mysef again prolly 💕
he said I was super pretty 💕💕😭😭
he keeps praising my thighs dude and im super insecure abt em so its making me hehe🤭🤭🤭
we're dating now 🤭🤭
DUDE SOMEHOW IN 44 MINUTES I MANAGED TO GET IN A FUCKING SITUATIONSHIP
chat its gonna take a few days but looking good so far >:3
(when I finish it I'll show a pic its gery autism)
trynna do stick n poke but my pookie fell asleep :(
I cleaned my whole room (like a deep clean) for it too.
i fucking hate my best friend's mom.
she (bsf) forgot to wash one fucking dish.
and now she may not be allowed to go to the sleepover we've been waiting on for DAYS.
new user and profile!!! I made my user my two preffered names, I havent really settled on one. I've been Teddy/my real name for a while but I think I might be Clover idek anymore
i'm having a friend over this weekend!!!! >:3
tomorrow I'll be 4 weeks clean :3
my mom thinks im 3 months clean, along with a lot of my friends
some know the truth some don't
havent cut, so I'm still 3 weeks clean.
I really wanna cut so bad. I have like 5 blades now that are super sharp because their from brand new sharpeners but I havent used them yet. I time when I do it with when my cats claws get really long so I make small cuts in different places on my thighs and dig into them a bit.
I might redo my lower stomach again..
thigh highs>>>>>
I'm going to a mall!!!! uhm anyways
I need songsssssss
I'm looking for:
• Similar too: lil darkie, cave town, and penelope scott. also melanie martinez :3
•vocaloid
I don't want:
• Saturn by SZA
• Anything by drake {obvi}
anything is welcome, all genres. I'm really into those artists rn and SOME country. like megan maroney (mightve spelled it wrong)
i was literally 6 days clean
i did it again. and guess what.
IM LITERALLY GOING TO A FUCKING WATERPARK ON WEDNESDAY, WHICH IS TOMORROW.
I'll probably wear my bathingsuit shorts anyways.
theres blood all over my lower stomach..
I have toilet paper on it but.. i dunno.
I literally hate myself I was on fataltotheflesh.com and it didn't work. None of the ones like that worked. I just needed the sensation i guess..
fuck.
iont wanna tell my friend cuz she'll be disappointed and I'm not gonna tell my mom either
thank god its hidden cuz its summer here (I put it like on my lower stomach but like yeah uhm anyways so you can't see it)
just broke my almost two months (if i had lasted a week longer) clean streak.
i fucking hate my life & myself ❤️
also I still haven't gotten therapy yet (been stuck on the waiting list)
guys guess what 😖😖😖 all of my old picrews didn't transfer to my phone so its only on my ipad 😭😭😭😭
chipi chipi chapa chapa dubi dubi daba daba magico mi dubi dubi boom boom boom boom
I lowkey cannot take this anymore istg
my mom keeps stressing me out over school, which is only making my grades go DOWN
and I have so much missing work
my stupid fucking heart can't keep to itself, no matter how many times I want it to. I keep finding myself liking people (two) and then I get my heart absolutely shattered.
My mom doesn't know about me being homoflex, or nonbinary, or using she/they so I'm struggling not to correct her whrn she's talking about me.
My stupid fucking dad is being a petty bitch over court shit
I literally want to kms or sh but I have nothing to sh w so I almost gouged ny eyes out with my fingers last night my friend literally had to make sure I was still alive, checking on me every hour
I might've killed my cat cuz I forgot she was being fixed today and two of them (the bug backs) were biting my ankles because they wanted food so I gave them food
I'm so insanely touch starved that I would do anything atp (w money involved) that I can somehow lessen the starvation
My friend told a teacher I was selfharming and then he pulled me aside and asked me to show my arms so I showed him my arm that I don't rlly do anything on and then he said the other one and when I would only show him the top and he just nodded I started sobbing and then he took me into the teacher work room in the office and then he got Miss D (I do NOT know what she does broski) and she was talking to me as I was honestly having a panic attack and then I went to guidance and I got to speak to the school psychologist and my guidance counselor and then now I get to go to therapy and any time I need to talk I have permission to go to the guidance office and if the seventh grade counselor isn't there the eighth one told me she would talk to me (she was in the room for a little bit bc my grade counselor was with someone)
!TW! Blood & SH
uhm
so
I realized I'm homoflex a few months ago
and lets just say this boy
uhm
he asked this girl out as a joke
and hes one of my best friends aswell
he knows I like him
uhm anyways
she said yes
and uhm
it was last day right before spring break
today I asked him if it was serious.
He said yes.
Spring break I had multiple mental breakdowns iver this
but today
I just couldn't take it anymore
I self-harmed with a pocket knife the other day (sunday)
but it wasn't enough.
So today
uhm
i took apart a pencil sharpener
and now..![](https://img.itch.zone/aW1nLzE1NzA5ODE2LmpwZWc=/original/feqYMu.jpeg)
it looks like it belongs on #shtwt on Twitter.