I made this as a distraction <3

anyways gonna ask my mom to take me to walmart sometime this week to get a binder

and 

my dad's gf put a bible pamphlet in my room knowing im a satanist athiest

also, the urge to cut is insane.

uhm so

hi. *sings toxic gossip train/j*

my whole life is a wreck rn

my dad didnt do jack shit for my bday

my bus/ car ride sched as of right now makes it so I can literally only see my gf 4/5 days

but ocassionally it's 3/5 for her meetings

and then once my club starts it'll always be 3/5, then get lowered to 2/5 for her occasional meetings.

its whatever ig 

I have a solo.to for my therian acc (and all related) if anyone wants to see.                        click here 👇                           start of link https://solo.to/clov3rxx end of link

also I js found out I have NO classes w my friends so thats great

guys I didnt jump him

im gonna jump his ass when hes hanging out w his friends at the park on Sunday

im so silly

I got cheated on lmaoo

I started journaling, so this will be used less lmaoo

My boyfriend snuck out of his window to walk 10 minutes (same neighborhood) to come see me.

is somebody gonna match my freak (sitting on call w my boyfriend in silence aside from the occasional conversation) (I prefer texting)

almost 24 hrs clean 💕💕

prolly gonna ruin it later bc I started thinking about growing old and dying (Suicide isnt scary, murder isnt scary, rape isnt scary, heart attacks arent scary, strokes arent scary, everything else is {including natural death})

(please remember that those are my opinions)

i broke up with my girlfriend, I just dont love her like that anymore, but I still love her.

her friend was a total asshole. like, I know shes hurting, im hurting too

zero days clean lmaoo

Im so bored. I think of life like a game, and it becomes boring when I've been stuck on the same part of this level for the past few days.

Okay, yeah getting a bf was a change

but it doesnt help when I cant see him.

we go to the waterpark tmrw but idek if I want too.

she got it back cuz she was scared I was gonna commit suicide and told her mom

so her mom knows im suicidal 😻

welp

my bsf got her phone taken forever

gonna cut mysef again prolly 💕

he said I was super pretty 💕💕😭😭

he keeps praising my thighs dude and im super insecure abt em so its making me hehe🤭🤭🤭

we're dating now 🤭🤭

DUDE SOMEHOW IN 44 MINUTES I MANAGED TO GET IN A FUCKING SITUATIONSHIP

chat its gonna take a few days but looking good so far >:3 

(when I finish it I'll show a pic its gery autism)

trynna do stick n poke but my pookie fell asleep :(

I cleaned my whole room (like a deep clean) for it too.

i fucking hate my best friend's mom.

she (bsf) forgot to wash one fucking dish.

and now she may not be allowed to go to the sleepover we've been waiting on for DAYS.

new user and profile!!! I made my user my two preffered names, I havent really settled on one. I've been Teddy/my real name for a while but I think I might be Clover idek anymore

i'm having a friend over this weekend!!!! >:3

tomorrow I'll be 4 weeks clean :3 

my mom thinks im 3 months clean, along with a lot of my friends

some know the truth some don't 

havent cut, so I'm still 3 weeks clean.

I really wanna cut so bad. I have like 5 blades now that are super sharp because their from brand new sharpeners but I havent used them yet. I time when I do it with when my cats claws get really long so I make small cuts in different places on my thighs and dig into them a bit.

I might redo my lower stomach again..

thigh highs>>>>>

I'm going to a mall!!!! uhm anyways

I need songsssssss

I'm looking for:

• Similar too: lil darkie, cave town, and penelope scott. also melanie martinez :3

•vocaloid

I don't want:

• Saturn by SZA

• Anything by drake {obvi}

anything is welcome, all genres. I'm really into those artists rn and SOME country. like megan maroney (mightve spelled it wrong)

i was literally 6 days clean 

i did it again. and guess what.

IM LITERALLY GOING TO A FUCKING WATERPARK ON WEDNESDAY, WHICH IS TOMORROW. 

I'll probably wear my bathingsuit shorts anyways.

theres blood all over my lower stomach..

I have toilet paper on it but.. i dunno.

I literally hate myself  I was on fataltotheflesh.com and it didn't work. None of the ones like that worked. I just needed the sensation i guess..

fuck.

iont wanna tell my friend cuz she'll be disappointed and I'm not gonna tell my mom either

thank god its hidden cuz its summer here (I put it like on my lower stomach but like yeah uhm anyways so you can't see it)

just broke my almost two months (if i had lasted a week longer) clean streak.

i fucking hate my life & myself ❤️

also I still haven't gotten therapy yet (been stuck on the waiting list)

guys guess what 😖😖😖 all of my old picrews didn't transfer to my phone so its only on my ipad 😭😭😭😭